5 Things to Do For Yourself With Your Aging Parent at Home

October 23, 2022October 26, 2022 by Cindy

Look five years ahead. Plan for what the next steps will be. For example, if the loved one is currently requiring a cane, they will most likely next require a rolling walker, walker or wheelchair which will require 36 inch doorways, clear safe paths through your home, and grab bars professionally installed in your bathroom. When that stage has passed and the loved one can no longer get to the bathroom, a Hoyer lift to move them from the bed to a chair will be necessary for moving the person safely. The Hoyer lift requires a large radius to turn so a larger bedroom may be necessary. Lifting an elder with a arm looped through the arm pit can be dangerous, cause fractures, and falls. Perhaps converting a dining room to a bed room will work. Then, when transport by Hoyer lift is necessary, emergency transport may also be necessary and ramps for both your exit with your loved one to doctor’s appointments and for emergency personnel. This will require a ramp for safety to access your external door. Click on the link below for a home inventory check list for ESP (emotional support, safety, and physical capacity considerations) for when you bring your loved one home. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0B28HM24F?notRedirectToSDP=1&storeType=ebooks&linkCode=sl1&tag=agesstagesand-20&linkId=a03839fa92c1a279af177d26d9ee266c&language=en_US&ref_=as_li_ss_tl
Start a conversion with your loved one on what their plan is for their future. Talk with them and plan with them, so you do not have to plan for them. The book, Can Mom Sleep With The Dogs: What You Need To Know Before You Bring Your Parent Home by Cindy Nix may be helpful for The Discussion. The input from your loved one will ease some difficult decisions you will be making down the road. Amazon link to book: https://www.amazon.com/Can-Mom-Sleep-Dogs-Discussion-ebook/dp/B09WJK38LW
Recognize you need help. Before I was in the situation to push my mother in a wheelchair shopping, and spend hours with her to perform everyday tasks which take us minutes alone, but hours when caring for a loved one, I used to see these women with their mothers(out of shape, pasty, looking overly burdened and tired). I used to think they needed to take better care of themselves. Now, I know why they looked that way. They spend everyday caring for their mother, worrying about every little detail of their loved one’s life and needs. There is little time for them to care for themselves. But, you have to take of you to take care of her! Think of how devastating it would be if you were ill, or hurt and could not care for your loved one. You need to think of you too. Take a day off, hire a sitter, speak to community resources and find a way to lighten the load. Hire a teen to do laundry, clean house, cook, or shop. Find a hobby you can do with your loved one around. Something that brings your joy. Put a treadmill or bicycle in your home to jump on when you are tired of sitting to care for your loved one. You may motivate them by being active.
Talk to everyone about the situation. You will learn from others’ experiences, knowledge, and connections. Maybe someone’s mother’s niece loves to shop and loves running errands for elders. Maybe someone’s son is looking for yards to mow, windows to wash, trash to haul. Maybe someone knows of a kind retired person who like to sit with elders needing company.
Research. There is a lot of information on diet, home assessment, safety checklist, funding assistance, at home work, home access standards, meal preparation, meal presentation, nutrition, behavior redirecting, and more. You just have to look on the internet, YouTube, or google the subject. Check out this post for elder meal times: https://agesstagesandphases.com/2022/10/03/aging-parent-care-moments-constant-indecision/